Momma Bear

There are a few things in this world that I can handle. You want to call me names; I don’t care. I know who I am, so have fun making yourself look like the fool. You want to bash my writing, or my car, or my house and job, I hope it makes you feel better once you get it all out because it doesn’t affect my day to day. I can handle anything you want dish if it pertains specifically to me. You can run your mouth all day about me, and I won’t care.

If you dare to cross the line of talking about my daughter or how I am raising her, the choices I am making on her behalf, then, my friend, you have another thing coming.

I cannot handle someone attempting to tell me how I should raise my child. I will not let you take another breath following your first sentence to even continue the thought you might have had on how I am choosing to bring her up. What I say for my daughter, goes. Period. Your opinions do not matter. Know your place because it isn’t here.

On the other side of that token, I welcome advice because I’ve never raised a child before. I will gladly listen to genuine recommendations, and may even seek them from time to time. I have asked many mothers before for their knowledge on certain aspects of motherhood, and I have received the best guidance.saulius-sutkus-403556

But when your advice turns into chastising and demeaning me as a mother, we most definitely will have a problem. Do not argue with me when it comes to the rules I have set for her. Do not undermine what I have said. Do not bring up my daughter’s name or my parenting skills in any conversation with negative words.

If you do, the only thing you will walk away with as the result of this discussion is a clear idea of what a mother bear looks like, and I will be damn proud of it.

When hugging a child..

I saw a meme the other day that had words of advice from a retired Disney Princess. It was Snow White hugging a little girl, and in white lettering it said:

When you are hugging a child, always be the last to let go. You never know how long they need it.cool-quote-hugging-child-Disney-worker

This pulled at my emotions, and as I have self-proclaimed numerous times, I really am not an emotional person. I do get emotional like anyone else, but my family jokes that there is a gene named after my grandmother that makes us all cry at the drop of a hat. Thankfully, I think it must have skipped me.

I don’t typically cry (unless it is a Nicholas Sparks book or movie) at random events, stories, or songs, but for whatever reason, this one got me. Call it my Bonnie-gene, or hormones, or whatever you want; this one meme hit me hard! Ever since my daughter came into my life, anything having to do with children targets the softest string in my heart and plays me like the most soothing harp until I’m a blubbering mess.

As I sat there, rocking my daughter to sleep and scrolling through my phone, tears filled my eyes as her little hands squeezed around my neck, holding me as close as her little arms could. I made a vow then to always be the last to let go.

Whenever she needs me, I will always be there, and whenever she holds on to me, I won’t let go first. I want her to be strong and independent, but to I also want her to know that she can always count on me to be there from through any moment in her life that she just needs to hold on a little tighter to me. And I absolutely need her to know that for as long as she’s holding on to me, I won’t let go.

As I laid her down in her bed after her arms relaxed on my shoulders, I kissed her little forehead and brushed her fine, wild hair from her face, knowing she is the exact reason why that meme meant so much to me.

I’m not crying. You’re crying!

Need to Decompress

I have always said that I am a gluten for punishment, and I live up to it regularly. I find new ways to add on to my plate, and eventually, I get so overloaded that I have to take a step back, regroup, and figure out how to tackle everything I promised to take on. This is definitely one of those moments. I am looking for my center then trying to add things slowly back into the mix to find the balance I lost somewhere along the way.

The good news is that I am scheduled to graduate this time next year with my Bachelor’s degree from SNHU (Southern New Hampshire University), so that will be one large chunk of weight off my shoulders. I also just finished another certification program at work, so I am officially a CAP-TA through IAAP. See a previous post for more information about them. My daughter is hinting at wanting to be potty-trained, so that will be another alleviating moment once she masters that feat. All in all, some things will be falling off my scale here shorty, so I am trying to see the finish line through the haze of the bombarding present.photo-1473624566182-509e437512f4.jpg

Through all the chaos that seems to happening around me, I have tried multiple times to pick up the diet and workout plan I had successfully been on before I became pregnant, but to no avail. I’ve come to determine that there just isn’t enough time in the day to deal with everything I have taken on, and try to diet and exercise as heavily I had been pre baby. I don’t have time to make a breakfast or lunch, so I grab a protein shake and whatever Lean Cuisine I can find before hitting the road. I tried doing it the night before, but again, I don’t have time between dinner, bath, and bedtime routine if I want to get to bed at a decent hour and/or have some “mommy time” or pay any attention to my husband.

So I did what any mom would. I scoured the internet for what other moms do when they want to diet and exercise with a full plate of commitments. I found that you are either a “fit mom” or an “excuse mom”, and I was definitely an “excuse mom”. These type of moms are the ones that come up with a whole handful of reasons as to why they can’t lose weight or diet while the “fit moms” have ab muscles and tiny waists, and say that “excuse moms” are just lazy.

How about I’m just a mom trying to do the best I can for my child? I may not be taking care of myself as well as I should in the diet and exercise aspect, but I am filling my heart full of memories, and trying to better myself through education and hard-work in my career to provide the best life I can for my daughter. That may not make me a “fit mom”, but that sure as hell doesn’t make me an “excuse mom”, either.

I digress on my rant, but I hope I leave everyone with the idea that life comes in stages. Right now, my stage is self-enlightenment through education. Maybe as my daughter gets older and more independent, and I finally add a diet and exercise plan to my balancing act, then it will be healthier mom time. Until then, I’ll just enjoy making memories.photo-1466699514193-d2327ed2cccb.jpg