In the moment

Everyday we spent racing toward adulthood are all the days I wish we had back.

All the times we daydreamed of the future are all the moments I would gladly give anything to have again.

This life isn’t what it was supposed to be. No. You were supposed to be in it. 

This life can feel so empty without you filling it. How I long for the life I had with you.

What I would tell young, naive us now that I know what the future holds is to cherish every second together because one day all too soon those dreams won’t come true.

Live in the now, I would say, because one day, I would know what it’s like to not have you.

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Am I coming in clear? Can you hear me out there? For all the world, and all the universe, I hope you can. I send this to you this day, so that you may understand.

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With me? With the world? With this very existence on this small blue dot? I don’t even know anymore.

What’s on your mind?fb-whats-on-your-mind

The words I would speak aloud? Or the words only my conscious has ever heard? I can’t tell you how many times I have had to defy my own will in order to keep from saying the words dancing on the edge of my tongue.

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My story? You want my story on this blank canvas? My story is my own, but if you wish it, I may share it with you. Only if you promise no judgement, and no hate. Only if you promise you will listen with open ears.

All the words we speak, feel, think, and cherish in this life, can they really be requested in simple phrases? Can we real consolidate them to short blurbs of nothingness and send them out to the world without a bat of an eye? Are we really so far gone that none of it has any meaning anymore? Take a snapshot, and give it one word; you can’t. Stop asking for everything, but expecting nothing. If you want to give it all, share it explicitly, or not at all. If you want to keep it in, protect it, but don’t give it a chance to glimpse even the slightest bit of freedom and dull everything you ever knew.

Live without simple phrases. Live without consolidation. Live without mindlessness. Live free. Speak all. Feel all. Think all. Cherish all. This is life. Not 140

Bucket List

Ever since I saw the movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, I decided that I wanted to create my own bucket list. Now, mine is not something that I have a time constraint on like those guys did, but these are things I want to do before I die.

I’ve actually accomplished a few already!

Swim with Sea Turtles – Done! In Florida.
Swim with Sharks – Done! In Florida.
Eat Risotto – Done! Authentic Italian Restaurant for my birthday!

I still want to:

Visit Papakolea Beach, HI – They have green sand which is my favorite color!
Visit NY, NY – Never been and it’s not a far trip from me!
Visit 5 Different Countries – Kind of like visiting every continent.
Swim with Dolphins – Cool animals!
Eat Beef Wellington – I love Gordon Ramsey, so if I could eat one in his restaurant, that would be awesome!
Top 10 Best Seller List – To have my novels in front of millions of readers.

I know to some people a bucket list sounds kind of morbid. I’ve received strange looks from people I’ve told that I have created one, but I think everyone should have one. Why wouldn’t you want to set goals for yourself to achieve before your time ends in this world?

If you live your day to day without any aspirations for the next day, next year, next decade, then can you say you really lived?

When I’m old and gray, I want to make sure I make every wrinkle, scar, and memory count!