Memoir: Love, Not – WattPad Exclusive

Live, today, is my newest completed project called Memoir: Love, Not. This 22 part, ~60,000 word novel will only ever be posted on my WattPad account, so join now and enjoy!

This book is a tale based on a true story of a high school girl experiencing what she believes to be love for the first time. The boy she falls for may be full of romance and a burning desire for her, but his only mission in her life is to consume her whole. She traverses abuse in every form while trying her hardest to discover her inner strength and who she is really meant to be.

This story isn’t for the faint of heart, nor those looking for fluff. I’ve written fluffy novels, and I promise you, this isn’t one. These events created a person strong and independent and unafraid to take on a challenge, but the past always remains in our minds as a reminder to the path we took to get us here. This unveiling of a trying time in this young woman’s life is meant to inspire choices very different from her own. Read with the understanding that these events are based in reality, but drenched with fiction. Enjoy!


Based on a true story – Memoir: Love, Not

I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This is my story.

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I mean, my own sister or anyone else I tell doesn’t, so it wouldn’t be anything new, but this is one hundred percent true. As true as I sit in this chair. As true as I scribble in this notebook, waiting to be seen at this free health clinic.

I wish every day that it wasn’t. I hate myself every day because it is.

My life could have been different, but I chose wrong. I know that now. I’m reminded every single day.

It’s gone on for so long that I’m not sure how I can even stop it. The only thing I can think to do, hope to accomplish with writing it all down, is that someday, maybe, it will help you to know which fork in the road you should take.

Maybe you won’t end up like me. Maybe you will choose the right path.

Maybe you’ll have a chance at a life completely opposite of mine.

I hope no one will ever live the life I have.

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***MATURE CONTENT***
This story may contain triggers for strong emotional responses. Warnings will be posted on the various specific chapters such triggers will appear.

This is a very sensitive story. Please be respectful with your comments and feedback.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business, events, or locales is purely coincidental or used fictitiously. The author has taken great liberties with locales including the creation of fictional towns.

Growing Up Is Hard, But I Had You.

Growing up is hard. In elementary school, I had more friends than I knew what to do with. In middle school, I had a lot of friends and a group of people I considered best friends. As high school started, friends became acquaintances, and a few of those from the group of best friends shined greater than the rest. As you grow older, you lose friends. It’s a fact of life. But there are those that stick with you through it all.

Now into adulthood, three of those people from the best friend group of high school proved to be ride or die, loyal friends. They were there for me during times of loss, times of pain. They were there for me in times of joy and happiness. Hell, they were bridesmaids in my wedding. These three women have been part of my life for well over fifteen years and helped make me who I am today. Without them, growing up would have been even harder, but together, we made it through.

CMN and I met in elementary school. We clicked immediately in second grade which isn’t hard for seven years olds, and even through the hardships of growing up and finding ourselves, through times of fights and arguments, we have remained close. KMK and KAK are twins I met in middle school, and through the years, I was always close to both of them, but sometimes closer to one than the other. KMK was my maid of honor at my wedding, and was my best friend until a few years ago, but we still kept in touch. KAK and I got into mischief in high school, and over the past few years have remained in contact as much as possible. We grew up together, the four of us, and I couldn’t imagine life without any of them.

So when I got a phone call from CMN telling me that KAK passed away, I broke. I’m still broken. This girl that I spent my life with, going through boys, cars, and babies, is gone. This beautiful, amazingly talented, passionate woman will never again call or text me just to check-in. I literally feel as if part of my heart and soul has been severed.

How do you go from living with someone as part of your life to not? How do you turn the last fifteen plus years into a memory? I can’t imagine how to go through my day without thinking of checking in, just to say hey, with her. I can’t imagine not hearing about what color her hair is today or what new piercing she has. I can’t imagine not hearing her laugh, or growl, or some bodily function ever again. I just don’t know how to handle losing someone so tightly woven into my life that I wasn’t prepared to lose.

KAK is a year older than me. She is so full of life, light of any party or conversation. She literally could change anything negative into a giggle fest. She never knew exactly what to say which is why she always knew exactly what to say. She is a talented artist, an amazing listener, and a fantastic housekeeper. This woman is beautiful inside and out, and will forever live within my heart.

Rest easy, KAK. I love you always, my sister.