When you don’t feel like you

Call it what you want. Hormones. Life. Depression. Just overwhelmed. That was me. That is me. I feel it every now and then. I think everyone does. But there are times where I let myself slip a bit too far.

I notice it most when I stop reading. Even more when I stop writing. I just don’t feel like me.

Maybe it’s my way of releasing all that is pent up in me. Maybe it’s may way of dealing with life. Regardless, when I get out of the routine of reading and writing, things start to feel a little out of wack.

I’m not sure why I ever let myself stop. I know how it makes me feel. It’s just, life. Life happens, and the next thing I know, I’ve gone a month without writing or reading a single word for myself.

I start to feel anxious, like something is missing. My brain feels clouded, and I just can’t figure out how to verbalize what I’m feeling. The flood gates are closed, and life just becomes congested.

The moment I start pounding it out on the keyboard or drinking in a new world on pages, it’s like the sky is new and the fog has lifted.

This is a part of me. Writing and reading makes me feel whole. I hate it when I stop, but man, does it feel good when I start again!

Memoir: Love, Not – WattPad Exclusive

Live, today, is my newest completed project called Memoir: Love, Not. This 22 part, ~60,000 word novel will only ever be posted on my WattPad account, so join now and enjoy!

This book is a tale based on a true story of a high school girl experiencing what she believes to be love for the first time. The boy she falls for may be full of romance and a burning desire for her, but his only mission in her life is to consume her whole. She traverses abuse in every form while trying her hardest to discover her inner strength and who she is really meant to be.

This story isn’t for the faint of heart, nor those looking for fluff. I’ve written fluffy novels, and I promise you, this isn’t one. These events created a person strong and independent and unafraid to take on a challenge, but the past always remains in our minds as a reminder to the path we took to get us here. This unveiling of a trying time in this young woman’s life is meant to inspire choices very different from her own. Read with the understanding that these events are based in reality, but drenched with fiction. Enjoy!


Based on a true story – Memoir: Love, Not

I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This is my story.

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I mean, my own sister or anyone else I tell doesn’t, so it wouldn’t be anything new, but this is one hundred percent true. As true as I sit in this chair. As true as I scribble in this notebook, waiting to be seen at this free health clinic.

I wish every day that it wasn’t. I hate myself every day because it is.

My life could have been different, but I chose wrong. I know that now. I’m reminded every single day.

It’s gone on for so long that I’m not sure how I can even stop it. The only thing I can think to do, hope to accomplish with writing it all down, is that someday, maybe, it will help you to know which fork in the road you should take.

Maybe you won’t end up like me. Maybe you will choose the right path.

Maybe you’ll have a chance at a life completely opposite of mine.

I hope no one will ever live the life I have.

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***MATURE CONTENT***
This story may contain triggers for strong emotional responses. Warnings will be posted on the various specific chapters such triggers will appear.

This is a very sensitive story. Please be respectful with your comments and feedback.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business, events, or locales is purely coincidental or used fictitiously. The author has taken great liberties with locales including the creation of fictional towns.