Grow, Little Girl – a poem

My daughter, you are growing.

You aren’t a baby anymore.

And while I long for those days,

Holding you in my arms,

Staring into your wondering eyes,

I have never felt so connected to you.

You are growing, my sweet,

Into a beautiful little girl

Full of life, love, and happiness.

You amaze me with your smart mind

And strong heart.

I have no doubt you will do big things.

Promise me, my brave girl,

That you will not be afraid to become

The woman I know you can be.

I will always be here.

I will always stretch my arms wide

And protect you from the world,

But it is the world who needs you now.

When you are ready,

I hope you grow, little girl,

And take on this world,

For your determined heart and strong mind

Will be the strength it needs to

Grow.

When hugging a child..

I saw a meme the other day that had words of advice from a retired Disney Princess. It was Snow White hugging a little girl, and in white lettering it said:

When you are hugging a child, always be the last to let go. You never know how long they need it.cool-quote-hugging-child-Disney-worker

This pulled at my emotions, and as I have self-proclaimed numerous times, I really am not an emotional person. I do get emotional like anyone else, but my family jokes that there is a gene named after my grandmother that makes us all cry at the drop of a hat. Thankfully, I think it must have skipped me.

I don’t typically cry (unless it is a Nicholas Sparks book or movie) at random events, stories, or songs, but for whatever reason, this one got me. Call it my Bonnie-gene, or hormones, or whatever you want; this one meme hit me hard! Ever since my daughter came into my life, anything having to do with children targets the softest string in my heart and plays me like the most soothing harp until I’m a blubbering mess.

As I sat there, rocking my daughter to sleep and scrolling through my phone, tears filled my eyes as her little hands squeezed around my neck, holding me as close as her little arms could. I made a vow then to always be the last to let go.

Whenever she needs me, I will always be there, and whenever she holds on to me, I won’t let go first. I want her to be strong and independent, but to I also want her to know that she can always count on me to be there from through any moment in her life that she just needs to hold on a little tighter to me. And I absolutely need her to know that for as long as she’s holding on to me, I won’t let go.

As I laid her down in her bed after her arms relaxed on my shoulders, I kissed her little forehead and brushed her fine, wild hair from her face, knowing she is the exact reason why that meme meant so much to me.

I’m not crying. You’re crying!

Insomnia..

bedI’m feeling a bit like The Walking Dead again lately, and I guess it is appropriate with the season change and all, but man, insomnia is kicking my butt. I try each night to at least get six hours of solid sleep because eight would just be striving too high, but with a toddler fighting colds and teething her last round of baby teeth for a while (I hope), even six at times is unattainable, especially in a solid form. Broken sleep patterns and lying in my bed staring at the ceiling, begging the sandman to drown me in his sleeping sand, are the new norm since I have become a parent, but I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I stumbled haphazardly onto this wonderful vat of knowledge.

New parents don’t get jack for sleep! Well, duh, but did you realize how little you were actually getting in this little one’s first year of life? New parents experience a sleep loss of 20.3 hours per week, making up 1,055.6 hours lost in the first year of a child’s life – equivalent to 44 days. New Parents Lose 44 Days of Sleep in Baby’s First Year

44 DAYS!!

Bet you won’t find that in any of those wonderful pregnancy and baby books! I’m telling you, if they would make these facts known to not only adults, but teens practicing unsafe sex, the birthrate would drop tremendously! There is so much that people don’t tell you about pregnancy, birth, and raising a child. I swear, it’s like some sick joke of those who experience it before you that they don’t tell you everything just because they want to see you suffer through it, too. Misery loves company!

The lack of sleep is kicking in, and I’m finding myself ranting, but 44 days!!

Then I remember those beautiful blue eyes, perfect button nose, and the goofiest smile I have ever seen, and losing 44 days of sleep, 44 days of my eyes closed and not being with my beautiful little girl, is completely worth it. I’ll take 44 days of memories with her over 44 days of unconsciousness any day.baby

Well, maybe just give me four of those days back? Make it an even 40? Darn you, insomnia.