When you don’t feel like you

Call it what you want. Hormones. Life. Depression. Just overwhelmed. That was me. That is me. I feel it every now and then. I think everyone does. But there are times where I let myself slip a bit too far.

I notice it most when I stop reading. Even more when I stop writing. I just don’t feel like me.

Maybe it’s my way of releasing all that is pent up in me. Maybe it’s may way of dealing with life. Regardless, when I get out of the routine of reading and writing, things start to feel a little out of wack.

I’m not sure why I ever let myself stop. I know how it makes me feel. It’s just, life. Life happens, and the next thing I know, I’ve gone a month without writing or reading a single word for myself.

I start to feel anxious, like something is missing. My brain feels clouded, and I just can’t figure out how to verbalize what I’m feeling. The flood gates are closed, and life just becomes congested.

The moment I start pounding it out on the keyboard or drinking in a new world on pages, it’s like the sky is new and the fog has lifted.

This is a part of me. Writing and reading makes me feel whole. I hate it when I stop, but man, does it feel good when I start again!

Where have I been..

I honestly can’t say, exactly. Life has taken me where it pleases and where I am displeased. There are the things I love doing, and things I have to do. I am finding more moments of enjoyment during the long days of animus, but they are too far and few between.

One day, I’ll find the time to enjoy what I love more. One day, I’ll be able to do what I want rather than fill an obligation. If it wasn’t for the only cause that matters in my life, I’d start now. But today, and the next, and the foreseeable days to come, I’ll think of the one day that I will be able to do what I love.

WordPress, what are you doing?

Related imageIf you can’t tell, I use WordPress for my website. I love it! They are leaps and bounds better than the last host I had, and I’m glad I made the switch. All around just easier for me to write, find stats, and all around utilize. Recently, however, I’m concerned with their interface changes. I like pink as much as the next person (well, maybe not as much as my daughter), but what is with the now pink buttons and coloring on most visuals?

Also, they are soon coming out with a new editor. They are allowing you to switch between classic and this new version for now, but if they ever make it mandatory, I swear I’ll lose my mind. I just don’t find it very intuitive. When I’m writing, I’m not looking for all the fancy stuff a webmaster can throw at me. I literally want something I click on maybe twice and write, post, and move on to the next.

I’m a simple gal, looking for a simple tool to broadcast my voice. WordPress, don’t get too fancy on me!

The New Year – Keeping it moving

This year, I’m not going to set any resolutions like I have in the past because most of them would remain the same. Not for lack of progress, but simply because I want to continue to build upon what I have accomplished thus far. I want to be healthier, to travel more than I already have, and write more. Those items haven’t changed from last year. What has changed is my perspective on those items.

Healthier is no longer this unobtainable goal that I quit trying for halfway through the year. It’s a constant effort for the rest of my life to work on my crazy eating habits and chocolate addiction. Every little step I take towards becoming healthier is a feat.

I’ve traveled to one new place this year, a mountain resort nearby for my daughter’s birthday. It wasn’t my favorite trip by far, but gladly, we were able to take a mini vacation to the beach with family over the summer to make up for it. I want to continue to travel and see new places, even if they are close to home.

Lastly, I want to write! But when don’t I? I have the sequel to Guardians going through the editing process for publishing sometime in Spring 2019, and the third installment set for completion sometime in late Summer 2019. I have other ideas to explore, blogs and articles to write. I just love doing it, so continue on I will.

So, these really aren’t resolutions anymore. They’ve kind of become my new way of being. I will carry on and build upon my accomplishments because it’s what I want out of life, not just one year in the midst of a century.

Pieces of me

Hello, my dear friends. It has been a while.

I’ve been away, but I have not gone

Far enough to forget you,

So let me apologize and

Verbalize my intent to reconnect you

With my dreams and hopes and ramblings,

Which I so often do.

My name is Lindsay Chamberlin, and I love to write. I’ve self-published a few novels, and intend to do more of the same. I am a mother, a wife, and co-provider for my family, so for now, writing is what I do to keep my soul alive. One day it may be more, but I promise you it will never be less. My entire life is made up of things I do for others and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but this, writing, is what I do for me.

An example, here,

In the midst of it all

That life without this tiny piece of me,

Which makes up the largest part of my soul,

Is crazy and draining,

No matter how much I love it.

I need this piece of me

Like I need you to love it

Because this is all of me,

And I hope you enjoy it.

When the Muse Calls

Tell me a story,

And I’ll read you a line

From the most divine

Poetry book.

Sing me a song,

And I’ll bring to you

A chorus of angels for

Your melody.

But follow me

As I show you the world,

And I’ll promise you

Forever.

When the muse strikes. I’m not much of a poetry writer, but sometimes the mood is right and the words flow easily. It’s funny what our muses convince us we do well, but I find I become even more stricken with a block if I try to ignore them. Best to just let it flow, my friends.

So words to the wise: don’t fight it. Just let it happen. You may be surprised with the outcome.

Have a great week all!