Self Awareness

I’ve taken several soft-skill classes pertaining to communication and personality types, and the one thing I have learned from each is how much room for growth I have. Call it ego or immaturity, but in my 20s, I could have sworn to you I knew exactly who I was and how to communicate with anyone effectively.

I WAS WRONG!

I’m approaching my 30s swiftly, and I am finding myself reflecting on my communication skills and personality type in ways I’ve never taken the time to consider before. Am I a details or big picture seeker? Do I like small talk or getting down to business? Am I competitive, or am I collaborative? I’ve never stopped to consider any of this in my communication style. In doing so, I have learned so much about myself and am working on the parts of me that can be improved.

For example, to answer the small talk versus getting down to business questions, at work specifically, I loathe small talk. I have a job to do, and I only have so many hours in a day to complete my tasks. When communicating with coworkers, I want to get to the point and move on to the next.

What I have realized this says about me and how it translates into my personal life is my amount of patience. I have a five year old daughter, and I try to summon all the patience in the world sometimes when I am talking to her. Otherwise, with anyone and anything else, my fuse is short! This is one area in my life I want to badly to work on. I want to be more patient. I want to take the time out of my day to stop and smell the flowers rather than plowing through life like a bulldozer.

I’ll get there one day, but for now, I’m just glad I have become more self aware. The first step is acknowledgement, right?

Trolls World Tour – Movie Review

My five year old daughter loves Poppy and Branch! After that first movie came out, it was all she would talk about. She would sing the songs and want to wear “Poppy pink” all the time! The movie was sweet and catchy with the mashups, so not too much heartache to be found after watching it multiple times a week.

When we heard a second movie was coming out, my child was so excited! We made the viewing party into a real experience for her since we weren’t able to see it in theater (due to the thing that must not be named). We baked cookies, made crazy drinks, and ate whatever she wanted for dinner. We laid out our spread and turned the movie on.

We built the moment of watching the movie up so much, this child was bursting the moment the first song began! Every few seconds she would say, “Daddy, did you see that!” Or, “Momma, look!” It was hilariously adorable! Luckily we were at home because this child could hardly contain her excitement.

As the movie played out, she was completely sucked in!

I, on the other hand, missed the first movie.

Don’t get me wrong, the second movie was cute, too, but something about the dialogue didn’t work for me.

In the first rendition, there is a conflict, a mission, a redemption, and a resolution. All of that is present in this sequel as well, but the interactions between the characters just feel short and bland. I know these movies have a lot of music in them, which I thoroughly enjoyed in both films, but there is a lackluster quality to the spoken exchanges between the characters themselves. Anytime they weren’t singing, there wasn’t much value added to inform the audience of what was happening.

Without getting too detailed, there is mention that certain events happened before and history was repeating itself. There is even a quick reference to whom the conductor of the first event was, but it’s blown off so quickly, it’s hard to tell if it’s really what they meant or if they were just wondering if that was the case. There are several instances like this where they just casually throw a comment out, but there is no further interaction amongst the characters to progress the thought process.

I know, it’s a kids movie. I didn’t have any overreaching expectations of the movie other than my daughter’s enjoyment, and she definitely enjoyed it!

Queue playing the soundtrack on repeat until we can buy the movie and play it incessantly!

Sonic the Hedgehog – Movie Review

Man, am I glad people complained about the way Sonic looked before they CG’d him. I can’t imagine the movie would have been even half as good had they not taken the time and given Sonic his proper aesthetics. I wonder what Tails would have looked like, too, had they not had fans balk as vehemently as they did about Sonic! Silly!

I’m a 90’s kid, so I grew up with Sega and playing Sonic. When I saw this movie was coming out, I honestly didn’t know what to think. When I saw how they originally designed Sonic, I was out. Nope, not going to watch it. Done! But, after the redesign, I was curious.

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Talk about a well done movie!

The casting we phenomenal! Jim Carey was amazing as Dr. Eggman. He brought humor to an otherwise dastardly villain, and captured the struggle between the two iconic video games characters perfectly. James Marsden was always a great addition to the story as the Doughnut Lord, a great sidekick and earthling to bring Sonic through his journey.

A lot of critics have called the movie a cute, cuddly, clunky CG tirade, but what they are missing is the nostalgia. Any kid who grew up playing Sega knows Sonic. The iconic clinking of the rings. The power up zing as Sonic rolled into a ball. His trademark red and white sneakers. You may only appreciate these well captured aspects if you used to spend your afternoons after school playing the game!

I truly hope there will be a next movie! And I’m being led to believe, there will be! Yes!

Opinions are like..

Everyone has an opinion on any number of topics. These opinions are words created in our minds to form coherent thoughts and phrases in favor or dislike of a certain thing. Literally, it could be anything we form an opinion on, and it could be in any varying degree between loathe and love.

But, what so many people forget is none of them matter.

Opinions are like assholes; everyone has them.

With well over 7 billion people on this planet, each of them has billions of opinions cultivated within their brain. If opinions were physical matter, the world would be polluted ten times over with them!

Mars, here we come!

So, whatever higher power you believe in had the infinite wisdom in ensuring your thoughts, your couth brain waves, only weigh down your mind, and not the rest of the planet. Thank goodness!

You may ask, “Well, what do we do with our opinions if they are so unavailing?”

I am no almighty being, so I cannot attest to what the grand plan is/was for these ever scurrying mind mice, but I have learned something.

The more you say, the less people hear. Listen more. Speak less. And, only bare your thoughts if, and when, you can contribute to the progress of the discussion.

Wait for the light to come on first, then speak.

Frozen II – Movie Review

Frozen IIIf you’re like me, have a young daughter and are staying inside the house, I’m betting we have watched Frozen II about the same number of times by now. Memorizing the songs was easy; by now, we have moved onto reciting each character’s lines in our best impersonating voice! It’s getting a bite dire in these living rooms.

One thing I do have to say about this sequel that I’m not so sure is receiving the spotlight that it should is the emotionally intelligent writing. I noted several different psychologist and doctors in the credits that I’m sure played a large role in this script! It’s clear the message in this second movie was meant to teach youngsters how to handle and respond to such big emotions the characters were feeling, and I will add that it was very well done!

There are many scenes throughout the movie which attempt to broach the subject of one mental illness or another, but there is one scene in particular that struck all the right chords for me. I have struggled with depression, mainly in my youth, but as I have matured, there is always that tinge that attempts to pop up. I’ve learned how to deal with it and carry on, but there are others in my life that also struggle with a mental illness. I digress.

This scene revolves around Anna, and she begins to sing a song. It’s at a point in the movie where things seem hopeless, and she’s all but crumbling under the weight of it all. This one particular scene speaks directly to grief and depression, and to me.

The song is called “The Next Right Thing,” and as Anna begins to sing, it is clear how she is feeling. She’s lost and scared and just ready to give up. One of the lines of the song is, “Hello, darkness, I’m ready to succumb.”

It’s a punch to the gut! I wanted so badly to pull her up from the floor and help her through the pain as I have known that feeling before, too. But, the song continues, and she coaches herself. She pulls herself up and focuses on one step at a time. Looking too far ahead is too much, more than she can take. Instead, she breaks it down to the next breath, next step, and next choice. She chooses to do the next right thing.

If nothing else, I feel this moment more than any other in most Disney movies, and I am a Disnerd. While I don’t fully understand the need for this movie, other than to cash in on the prize cow (it doesn’t progress their story, in my opinion), I do think it is very well done. While I am not a fan of watching it 10 times day, I do find myself pausing at the Anna scene and agreeing with her song. Sometimes, all we can do in our moments of weakness is focus on the next right thing.

No More News

I’m sure everyone has been glued to their televisions or other news providing platform during this pandemic. We want to know all we can about this new virus, and hope we can squeeze more information from the talking heads by just tuning in. It’s not wrong to want to know more about what we are facing, but to stay so deeply in the chaos, so enthralled in the moment by moment updates which provide hardly any new information, is madness.

The world needs a break!

It may be too early to say this. It may be too soon to call for it, but what the world needs in this seemingly hopeless situation is some mindfulness. We all need to take a deep breath, and cleanse ourselves of the negativity swirling around and within us, and come back to center.

I do not want anyone to think that I am saying ignore the scariest thing to happen to this world in years. I AM NOT SAYING THAT.

What I am suggesting is that people take bite size bits of the overflowing flood of information, and disconnect until the next day. Focus on the overall information in one swift download then TURN THE PLATFORM OFF!

In this time of slow down, stay home, and stay safe, it is so easy to get caught up in all the news and constant information overload. To keep our sanity and ensure the information we are digesting doesn’t create anxiety or an overwhelming sense of dread, limit what you are taking in.

I give myself ten minutes every day to check Twitter for the newest updates on the virus, and read through some headlines on my Google feed. I may pick a few articles if I am interested in learning more, but once that time is up, I do not all myself to sit in the misery any longer. I can’t! If I do, I know my mental health will decrease rapidly, and I have to stay strong for my family!

So, for anyone that cares, my advice:

Don’t be like a pig and sit in your own s***. Be like a bird, and gather what you can in a time span then rest and reevaluate for tomorrow.

Anxiety (explicit)

Fuck you, anxiety!

You won’t win this war.

Fuck you, anxiety!

It’s you I abhor.

I can’t fucking stand you and the way you impact our life.

I won’t let you do this.

You won’t destroy our lives.

I’ll fight you tooth and nail.

I refuse to let you win.

This is our happily ever after.

You’re just a distraction.

So, fuck you, anxiety!

We’re stronger than that.

We’re going to make it through this, so go stick a thumb up your ass!


We’re just going to pretend like this never happened, but damn, did it feel good to write!

What life has taught me

In the past few months, I have learned some very hard lessons. Ones that I don’t think I was ready for. They came like a shockwave, jolting my entire system and shattering everything around me. Honestly, I’m still going through most of it, trying to make sense of it, but I’ve absorbed it as much as I can.

A few highlights:

Try to listen first. There is a time to talk and a time to listen. Sometimes, just listening is all that is needed. Sometimes, your opinions don’t matter. There will be occasions when your words are needed, but try to listen first.

Taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of anyone else. I struggled with deep depression as a teen. It was dark and all consuming, but I made it through with help from others. I can’t imagine what may have happened to me if they hadn’t been there, hadn’t been strong enough to help me. I came close to sinking back into that familiar darkness recently, but the will to find my happiness brought me back. I’ve realized that no matter what is happening in my life, if I want to help those around me, I have to take care of myself first.

Never take peace for granted. Whether you notice it or not, everyone strives to have peace in at least one aspect of their lives. Work, home, hobbies; some part of their lives. When every part of life seems chaotic, that sliver of peace is the safe haven a person can curl up in and recoup. Never, ever take that solace for granted. Cherish it completely!

Love will always triumph over fear. I know it sounds very Frozen movie-ish, and I do have a five year old daughter who loves those movies, but it’s true! Love is the greatest weapon, the ultimate conquerer of fear. As life throws me around in this unforgiving sea of fear, I am holding on to the one anchor I know is always there. Love is stronger than fear.

I’ve been learning these lessons hard recently, and I am taking heed. If nothing else, these past few months have given me such clarity in these four aspects of my life, for the rest of my life. I just truly hope life can finally come to a place of peace for a while.

My journey, a poem

I thought about you today,
Thought I’d let you know.
Not to stroke your ego,
Because I let it go,
But more just to be thankful
For the road I have traveled,
Since you were a part of it.
A quick stop along the way,

A detour I never thought I’d take.

Now, I’m so far past it.
It’s only a memory.
Where I have come
Is near perfection
Because where I have been
Was hell,

But it taught me how to get here.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 3

Rachel Brosnahan in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (2017)I LOVE THIS SHOW!

If you know nothing else about me, just know that I love The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Amazon Original Series. The writing, the casting and acting, the cinematography; beautiful, perfect, and amazing! The only thing I can complain about is the length of the season! Eight episodes! Eight! It used to be ten; now, it’s eight! Give me back my ten episode long seasons!

Well, the story line left some heartburn this season also. Click MORE if you want to know why.

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