High School Reunion

baim-hanif-89800I can’t believe it is my husband’s ten year high school reunion!

For those who do not know, my husband and I met in high school my freshman year. From the first few months of my first year of high school, he and I became best friends, and soon, our budding relationship turned romantic. Fast forward to almost thirteen years later, and we are wondering where the time has gone?

It feels like yesterday when we were sitting in our science and Spanish class passing notes to each other. Those florescent white lights beaming down on us as we snuck through the halls for quick kisses feels like such a new memory, not one that has gathered ten years of dust!

I think back on our high school days, all of which we didn’t particularly enjoy, and wonder, what was the rush about? Why were we so anxious to get out of school when now it feels like it was over in a blink of an eye? Why did it feel like such slow torture in the moment, but looking back on it now, it barely seems like a fragment of a second in our lives?

Ten years ago, I would have never guessed what I would be today. I am proud of what we have, what we’ve accomplished and become, but I am most proud of who we are together.

Back in high school, the drama seemed never ending, but now, I realize, it was barely even a chapter in the book of the rest of lives.

Moral of the story on this bit, my friends: don’t squander a moment, for it passes faster than you realize and fades from memory even quicker.

You are important, too.

So, I thought I was back a few weeks ago, but obviously, I still had some work to do on me before I was ready to come back fully. I’m still working on me, but I think I have found A New Normal. Y’all know how much I love that phrase.

I am counting down on my final few semesters of SNHU before I graduate in October. I’ve really tried concentrating all of my free time towards these final few months as my classes have taken on a new level of dedication and commitment. My last few classes are all high level, prove what you have learned courses. I am enjoying them, but man, they are taking all of my attention outside of my job and family that I can muster.

My daughter also started a new pre-school and is going through such a growth spurt of knowledge and height, and did I mention attitude? She keeps us on our toes!

Plus now we are getting our roof replaced after a bad hail storm, our deck resurfaced, and just trying to keep up with the mountain of laundry that seems to appear weekly; it’s safe to say we are just busy! haley-phelps-119782

All in all, life has just kept going, and I’m doing all I can to keep up with it. It’s just the little moments when everything seems to be going on around me that I am trying to remember that I need to take care of me, too.

Maybe that’s the message of this post: Remembering you are important, too.

Tomorrow’s Me

What makes any one person believe they were better than they were yesterday? What gives someone the sense that they have somehow taken a step in the right direction from the day before?

Is it accomplishment based? Is it by being kinder? Or is it just noticing a subtle change in your mood compared to the day before?

What makes us believe that today we are a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday, and tomorrow holds even more promise?

I like to think that each day I grow as a person. I’m a little smarter and wiser than yesterday. I’m a little more aware of my flaws and how to change get them as well as my good qualities and striving to better them even more. I’m more positive about the path I am leading, and even more grateful that my past is behind me. Every day I believe I grow a little more like a flower kissed by dew and sunshine. 

Not that I’m comparing myself to a flower. I’m no rose, for sure, but you get my drift.

Today’s me has evolved from my past, but this version of myself won’t recognize me tomorrow. With every sunrise, I change, and hopefully, each time it will be for the better.

Working on me.

It’s been a while since I have posted, mainly because life has just gotten a bit hectic, but I need to write this out.

There are times in our lives when we realize we have taken on so much that we are sinking our own ship. We have to bail it out to save ourselves, take a desperate gasp of air, and regroup before even considering which direction to head into next. It’s times like these we begin to think of the loved ones in our hearts and our journey thus far. We hold on tight to the constants, to the known pieces of our beings, as we wait for the storm to pass and our boat to right itself again.

Once we have finally caught our breath and the horizon is properly placed in our sights once more, only then can we search out the star to lead us home. Only then can we navigate what all lies before us, the unknown destinations waiting just beyond the water’s edge. Only then can the world feel tameable as we search for the next piece to ourselves we didn’t even know was missing.

This, my friends, is where I find myself now. After some time to save my ship and right my world again, I have found a piece of myself I didn’t realize I was missing. I love to write, that much I’m sure is clear, but I didn’t realize how much I love to write this blog as well as my novels. 

This blog has become a missing piece to my creative mind, an intricate piece to my writing cogwork that without it, I have found myself a little lost and overloaded. Not sinking, mind you, just knowing I have a hole somewhere within me which is only filled by emptying my brain every few days. 

Which brings me to my ultimate point of refusing to go any length of time again unless absolutely necessary of not writing even a small blurb on my blog. It’s the piece of me that I can express without fear of retribution. It’s the piece of me that keeps my horizon from tilting. All said and done, writing these posts are part of what keeps me going, keeps me sane, and allows me to be creative. Without out, I’m just a stuffed drain, wishing for relief. 

On that note, I’m back. Let’s do this.

Heart Tissue from Spinach Leaves?

OK, just woah. Woah. WOAHHH!

I know that is not very literary of me, but I think I might actually be at a loss for words. I mean, who the hell sits at the dinner table, eating a spinach salad and thinks, “Hmm, if we remove everything from this leaf and push blood through, maybe we can make heart tissue for people who have had heart attacks.” Like, who are these people?

Researchers at Worcester Polytechnic Institute are now taking spinach leaves and transform them into human heart tissue…that beats. They are showing promise that removing everything from the spinach leaves and leaving just the vascular system the leaf contains then attempting to grow tissue within it that actually beats can actually help someone who has suffered a heart attack. These leaves would replace the dead tissue left after the attack and beat with the rest of the heart.baby-spinach-leaves

I am extremely grateful for geniuses like these, but could you imagine living in their heads? Holy cow! I’m literally floored by this! I think I’ve rambled enough. Here’s the article and interview of these absolutely amazingly smart people.

Just wow.

Transforming Spinach Leaves Into Heart Tissue – wbur: Radio Boston


Loving Me

Not many people know this about me, but I’m choosing to share it because I refuse to let it control me anymore. I am an extremely self-conscious person, so much so that I can be my own worst enemy.

When I was a teenager, it was worse with all of the terrible experiences I endured, but dance and my part-time job were enough to distract me a majority of the time. As I graduated grade school, I had to find other ways in dealing with my self-respect, but it followed me into adulthood and threatened to consume me all too many times.

After getting married and having my daughter I was able to give myself some slack because I had proof that I was at least doing something right. A man who loves me, and a growing, thriving baby girl. Now, as my daughter gets older, I’m finding that I am beginning to fall back into my old pattern of chastising myself continuously for even the smallest of blips. I know it isn’t right or healthy, but I’m struggling to find ways to bring it to it’s final end.

As a teenager, I think I got to the point where I was self-loathing, but I haven’t sunk that low in a long time. I want to be stronger for my husband, and a better role-model for my daughter. I want to grow and live a life of love. I never want to go down that dark road again, so here’s my way of assuring I don’t. tom-ezzatkhah-103592.jpg

I’m vowing right now to love myself. I’m promising that I will not allow my mind to explore the idea that I’m not good enough, or that my efforts are pointless. I’m swearing right now that I will be my greatest cheerleader in the days, years to come. If nothing else is true in this world, we have this one body, one chance to do our best. I refuse to let myself be my own stop sign.

It’s a heavy topic, one that took me a while to really talk about, but I hope this may help someone else see the light, and change their thinking. Love yourself first because you are the only person in this world who really knows you.

Movie Review: Assassin’s Creed

Back before my husband and I became parents, we had all the time in the world to play video games (him) and watch movies/T.V. (me), but now its a rare occasion, and typically only when it is paid for such as gift cards for his games or friends lending us movies to watch, etc. Makes us sound cheap, but it’s just not what we choose to spend money on anymore. Every now and then we get to combine our interests and spend time doing what we both like.

Assassin’s Creed was supposed to be that perfect mix. It wasn’t.assassin_s_creed_movie_poster_2016_by_fincher7-dad26yg

IMDb: Through Abstergo a company that creates a revolutionary technology that unlocks his genetic memories, Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender) experiences the memories of his ancestor, Aguilar de Nerha (Aguilar Of Nerha), in 15th Century Spain. Callum discovers he is descended from a mysterious secret society, the Assassins and Templars, and amasses incredible knowledge and skills to take on the oppressive and powerful Templar organization in the present day.

IMDb Rating: 6.1/10

My Rating: 4.5/10


Black Sails and The Walking Dead

I’m not sure what got into these writers, but all the sudden both shows have taken a turn toward amazing dialogue​. I’m jumping right in here, so consider this your warning now.

The greatest highlight in the entire Pre-Series Finale of Black Sails was Madi’s conversation with the Governor. My mouth was literally on the floor as she spelled it out for him that he was the reason Eleanor died. The dude looks like he is on the brink of losing his mind, and I literally thought he was going to go nuts right then and there. I wouldn’t have blamed him for an outburst because she literally just twisted a knife in his back that had already been making its way through his chest. It was almost poetic the way she built to the moment where she plunged the dagger into his heart. Man, I was amped during that entire exchange! Not to mention the fact that she said exactly what Flint has been saying all along to Silver. The war was about far more than her and him. 

Then there was a beautiful piece by the old sailor pirate who had long past his prime, but was brought on to help Jack find Skeleton Island. He gave an incredible monologue about his time as pirate, it coming to an end and feeling like a faint memory, but the sea’scall was always there. It was outstanding and sent chills up my spine for it’s perfection and realization that all things must come to an end. Talk about gold!

Now for The Walking Dead. Sasha’s lines were still basic, but at least her scenes had meaning! It was more than just filler moments, and who are we kidding, Negan is the man! I believe this scene was exactly taken from the comics minus the fact that it was Sasha, but it’s transfer to see such basic human right being preserved in a time of chaos, again minus the knife to the neck of the would be abuser.

That about summed up the episode for me because besides getting more guns, that was about all that happened. Oh, and Dwayne showed up in Alexandria. And the Hilltop exposed the jackass in the suit for what he really was: scared peon.

Next Sunday will be no contest for me though as to which extended episode I will be watching as it is aired. Black Sails all day! I can’t see how they are going to end it in such a way that it prequels Treasure Island, but if the Series Finale is anything like this pre-finale, I know I won’t be disappointed. The Walking Dead is just going to have to wait!

Dreams of Pirates

Remember my dear,

As the time draws near,

To look to the horizon,

Farther than what you can set your eyes on

And whisper me a prayer

Of a gentle breeze in my hair

And a life full of adventure,

Even though I wish not to venture

Any further from home

Than my mind already roams.

Remember my love,

As the night taints the dove,

No matter how dark or how frail,

My admiration for you will never fail

Or falter under the weight of the stars

Because as I think of you, I have only these bars

Of magic and dreams

Far greater than they seem

To keep me warm as I travel,

Ever destined to unravel,

Except when I think of you.

Watching too many darn pirate shows. Better than reading about the Great Depression I guess. My dreams to that end are becoming a bit destitute. Although, the one last night was very intriguing, and I actually remembered most of it! Possible storyline, definitely book worthy material, but alas, my current project has hit over 80k words, and I still don’t think it’ll be finished before the end of the summer. We’ll see. Maybe throw in a pirate novel should I dream of any interesting ideas. When is bedtime again?