Insomniac Rambling – Love and Greed

To be enough for someone in a world full of greed is everything.

No! Just, no!

I saw this on Instagram as a poem someone wrote (not sure who posted it, can’t find it again), and I just need to say no. No, this is wrong. So wrong you can’t make enough U-turns to make it right. Just wrong!

I can see someone attempting to make the argument that maybe they are talking about love. Love is selfless. Love is about giving your all and then some to allow the person you have the feelings for to flourish with you. Love is the opposite of greed, therefore, to have found someone who wants to give you all of themselves is a gift not to be squandered. I get it. I dig it. You’re on the right track, but the first sentence in this post does not capture the idea of unselfish love.

The first sentence goes wrong the moment it assumes you weren’t enough for someone, anyone, in this world. You are always enough! It’s just up to the other person to see it, to know your value as much as you know your own worth.

Next, I read this sentence to say that your measurement in a person’s life is in your control. Again, this is wrong. It ties into the first part, but let me dig a little deeper. Greed is a terrible affliction. Nothing is ever enough. So, to say that you should be able to measure up to that amount of endless wanting, to be able to compete with the constant yearning, and possibly be greater than the desire for more in someone else is completely out of your control. Not only do you have to selflessly give yourself over to the one you love, but they in kind must also forget all pretenses and expectations in a world of over consumption and gluttony and share their selfless love, too.

Finally, to say that finding someone who may hold you higher than all other wants and needs is everything is horribly cheap. I would never want someone who wants me more than some goal or objective they may be trying to obtain. One day, those things they once ignored may suddenly float higher than your pedastool, and then your everything is now your barely something. Only when love holds it’s own category, it’s on permanent residence in two people’s lives will that love be everything.

Go to bed, Lindsay. I know. 🙂

Guardians – Book Tour Update!

Guardians Book Blog Tour brought to you by Bewitching Book Tours is in full swing! Next stop is Momma Says: To Read or Not to Read.

Come on over and see what exclusive bits you may find. I’ll keep you updated on all the stops throughout the tour.

Don’t forget to order your copy of Guardians today! 5 star ratings are rolling in! Vampires and werewolves could never face the shadows the Guardians battle everyday. Click here for more information.

Tour schedule

November 8 Momma Says: To Read or Not to Read
November 9 Ramblings of a Book Nerd
November 12 The Book Junkie Reads (Interview)
November 13 Ramblings of a Coffee Addicted Writer
November 13 T’s Stuff (Interview)
November 14 Supernatural Central (Interview)
November 14 3 Partners in Shopping, Nana, Mommy, and Sissy, Too!

HAPPY RELEASE PARTY!

Guardians – Release Day Party Continued!

Click on the links below for your chance to win an ebook!

Goodreads eBook Giveaway

GUARDIANS

By Lindsay Chamberlin

Released October 31 2018
This giveaway starts November 1, 2018 and ends November 13, 2018.

 

Keep up with me on tour for Guardians release party! Today, you can find exclusives and interviews on:

Jazzy Book Reviews
Fang-tastic Books (Guest Blog)

Guardians – What is a Guardian?

Guardians Proof twoWelcome to the Touched by Light series and the first book, Guardians! Here you will find a quick look into the world Reymend lives as a Guardian. It’s hidden within Riley’s mortal day-to-day, but of all other mortals, she has glimpsed it the most. So, what is a Guardian?

Guardians are immortal beings who have been fated to join the Guardianship. The Council of the Wise is made up of twelve of the oldest Birthright Guardians, meaning they were not born from mortals, but from previous Wise Council members. A Touched soul means the Light within someone is brighter, stronger, more likely to withstand the temptations of Midnight. The Wise determines a Touched soul’s fate at age nineteen. If you are meant to be a Guardian, you are granted immortal life and given Charges (Touched souls, typically mortals) to protect against Midnight’s bidders. If you’re destined for anything else, you are left as a mortal to live out your life.

We’ll get to “What is Light and Midnight?” in my next post. Hang in there! For now, enjoy this excerpt of Reymend’s inner dialogue over the course of a chapter explaining from his memories what it is to be a Guardian, and why having Riley as his next Charge is the most defining Guardship he has ever had.

Guardians, A Touched By Light Series, Book 1 of 3 – Available for Pre-order on all major distributors! Publish date October 31, 2018 – Halloween!

Rey hadn’t thought that far back in years to when he and Phelix had been young men, barely over nineteen years old. Two of the twelve members of the Wise Council of the Light had offered them immortal life as Guardians. If they accepted, their lives were to be dedicated to protecting those Touched by Light from the darkness of Midnight. Even though the significance of it all flew over their teenage heads, after living their entire lives as vagrants on the streets of a New York ghetto, it had been an easy decision.

He hadn’t flat out lied to Riley when he said he was an orphan. He and Phelix had been when they were kids, but having been in the system was pushing it. They had lived off what others threw out in the streets or what they could beg for, but back then, that was the system for parentless children. Castaways, left to fend for themselves.

They had met Amber, Phelix’s girlfriend, in their early years of immortality during training, but her life had been completely opposite to theirs. She had known the ways of the Light at an early age before her fate had even been determined. Her entire bloodline could be traced back to Guardians and the Wise Council. As a Birthright Guardian, her conception was a carefully mastered plan to keep purity on the Council. Although, some would argue that plan was failing or had failed already.

The three of them had been through hell and back more than their fair share, facing demons of Midnight when no one else could. They weren’t the strongest singular Guardians by any means, but together, their Light always shone brightest against the darkness. Together, they were undefeated, but in their line of work, defeat wasn’t an option.

The three Guardians had left Baltimore two years ago after their Charges had reached the age to be fated. It had been the first time in their almost two hundred years together that they had been separated. Phelix had gone to Richmond for a Charge until she reached nineteen years old, and the Wise fated her for the Guardianship. Amber had two Charges turn nineteen, one in Atlanta and the other in Columbus, but both of the guys destinies were decided to remain mortal, leaving their Light dormant within their souls. Rey hadn’t had a Charge since Baltimore, so he moved to Bradford for the hub of darkness found at the small town’s edge. There was always something to do in the quiet town for a Guardian.

Phelix and Amber showed up over the summer since the Wise hadn’t designated new Charges for them either. The Wise had always seemed to find them individual Charges within the same vicinity as each other, clearly understanding the strength they shared between them, but after their two year stretch apart, Rey knew things were changing.

They posed as students at the University to keep up appearance and be poised in case their new Charges were students in town. There was also a bit of competition amongst them to keep their minds sharp and see who could have the highest grades, but it all boiled down to being ready when a Charge was granted.

Rules.

Light.

Dark.

They had been Rey’s world for so long. Now he bent and outright broke so many, using his Light in ways he shouldn’t to beat out the dark invading his Charge’s life.

The number one rule of the Guardianship was to never become involved in the Charge’s life. Protect them at all cost, but never be seen. A Guardian was to use their Light in the fight against the shadows of Midnight, but never shine it in the direction of the Charge. After years of servicing mortals, Guardians had earned the nickname of Guardian Angels, but Rey knew he was far from angelic, especially now.

Number two: never, ever touch a Charge. Those Touched by Light could transfer energies, memories, and even thoughts through their Light just by brushing up against each other. It took a Guardian years of training to harness their Light and learn to channel it through the transference of randomness and into a true Connection. It was the very thing that had kept him, Phelix, and Amber alive for so long through all of their battles over the centuries. Their Connection to each other flowed easily, allowing them to communicate and act as one seamlessly in battle.

And, number three: without exception, do not sway a Charge’s fate by Connecting with their Light before the Council so determines the Charge’s destiny. After a Charge turned nineteen, the Wise would determine whether the Touched soul would be given the choice to become a Guardian or remain a mortal, or if their fate was meant for the darkness. No one in the long history of the Light had ever Connected with a Charge outside of the realm of the Council of the Wise.

It was the simplest of rules to follow. Rules Rey had never had issues with in over two hundred years, but now, with Riley as his designated Charge, he had broken all but one so far.

When had his immortal life become so filled with gray?

The first twelve Touched souls composed what is now known as the Council of the Wise. They gathered as many more Guardians they could, Connecting with mortals who held stronger Light, and pushed what they began to call Midnight and its darkness as far from this universe as possible.

As millennia have passed, the Wise Council’s duty had become to determine a Touched soul’s fate, to Connect with those souls and keep the balance between Light and dark, and to keep the rules of the Light by sending Guardians to enforce them on any darkness that made its way onto the plane. The Guardians had become the first defense in the never ending war to keep the world from slipping into Midnight’s grasp while the Wise continued to reign on high.

It was Rey, Phelix, and Amber’s job to keep their Charges safe until the time the Wise determined their fate. They were to keep Midnight as far from their Charges as possible and defend the dormant Light within them. That was what Rey was doing.

Guardians – Meet Riley!

1Riley has always been different. The entire town she grew up in reminds her every day just how different she is. She can’t wait for the day she can escape to a new town, a new school, and a new life. College is that chance, a new beginning, a new sunrise on the darkness that was her life.

This is Riley’s chance at a new beginning. Bradford University in southern Virginia is the fresh start far from home that she has always wanted, but no matter where she goes, the shadows will always follow. Her only reprieve as she starts her new life is the possibility of friends, something she never had back home, but it quickly becomes the silver lining in her darker days.

Riley may have been labeled the psycho in her high school, but this girl is strong. She’s carried the pain of her past for too long. Now is a time of beginnings. Making new friends and unleashing the woman she has always known she could be is easier said then done, until she meets Reymend.

Rey’s all warmth and light. A comforting, gorgeous man she hopes she won’t scare away when the darkness gets too close. She wants to hold on to him, but how can she hope for so much when she has only ever had so little?

Excerpt of Guardians: “I know what you’re thinking, but before you say anything just know that I’m going to do this. I’m making a life for myself here no matter what the cost. I have friends for the first time in my life. I wake up excited to see what the day will bring. I’m finally happy! Nothing will stop me from taking this chance. Not my episodes. Not the fear of what follows me everywhere I go. Nothing. I’m doing this because for once in my life, it’s my decision.”

Guardians Proof two

This girl may face darkness every day, but she knows what she wants! She’s scared, but determined. Even though she knows the shadows wait for her around every corner, sending her into blackout fits of terror, she still pushes forward. She is a real heroine even if she doesn’t understand the darkness that follows her.

Guardians, A Touched By Light Series, Book 1 of 3 – Available for Pre-order on all major distributors! Publish date October 31, 2018 – Halloween!

Saying goodbye to the past

When my life rocked sideways during a time of loss, a friend I once considered a sister came to stay with me. photo-1461720486092-b6ee3f33d726She was only with me for twenty-four hours before we went our separate ways, but by the end of that time, something beautifully ashen transpired. We could feel it the moment she walked back into my life, but it wasn’t palpable until the end.

It was in the goodbye.

When I hugged her goodbye, it felt like I was letting go party of my childhood. I felt the angst of my teenage years, the pain and awkwardness as I passed through so many milestones. There was wonder and excitement at finding myself, testing my personality and finding that self actualization. It was all there within our embrace. A tangible energy I could feel gathering between us began to slowly fade away. Like I was releasing a part of me that I had outgrown and moved beyond. Not because it was immature or some underdeveloped piece of me. It was as if this piece of myself allowed me to become the person I am today, completed its mission, and was ready to be released.

The seconds it took to release the hold around her tiny frame were the most drawn out moments in my life. Everything that had once built me up disapated as her arms unwound around me. All of the years I had spent trying to find the person I wanted to be evaporated like a summer rain from the forefront of my mind, finding their place within my mind’s archive. I could feel it slipping from me, all that time spent angry and confused, fumbling and jubilated as I made my way through the day to day.

It wasn’t being thrown away or stuffed into the attic, never to be thought of again. No, it became the diploma hanging on the wall, or the photos you frame to never forget a memory. It became a dormant piece to my life puzzle, the outer frame of my past, but no longer what constituted my center, present day me. It became the footprints in the sand behind me, the path that led me here, but no longer the dominant pieces of me.

As she looked at me, possibly for the very last time, I could see it in her eyes, too. She felt it. The pillars in our lives shifting. We smiled and said one last goodbye. She looked over her shoulder at me, and for the first time in my life, I felt renewed. I had finally released my past and became the full realized person I had fought so hard to be.

She helped me get to this point. I will always love her for that. I will never forget or regret my past. It was the only way to get to where I am today. I look upon it now, hanging on the wall in my mind’s gallery of memories and smile, thankful for it all and overwhelmed by the journey.

I’m not who I was. I’ve grown and become someone I had always hoped I would be. I have a longer road ahead of me to become even more, but to the road I have left behind, its been a beautiful ride.

Memoir: Love, Not – WattPad Exclusive

Live, today, is my newest completed project called Memoir: Love, Not. This 22 part, ~60,000 word novel will only ever be posted on my WattPad account, so join now and enjoy!

This book is a tale based on a true story of a high school girl experiencing what she believes to be love for the first time. The boy she falls for may be full of romance and a burning desire for her, but his only mission in her life is to consume her whole. She traverses abuse in every form while trying her hardest to discover her inner strength and who she is really meant to be.

This story isn’t for the faint of heart, nor those looking for fluff. I’ve written fluffy novels, and I promise you, this isn’t one. These events created a person strong and independent and unafraid to take on a challenge, but the past always remains in our minds as a reminder to the path we took to get us here. This unveiling of a trying time in this young woman’s life is meant to inspire choices very different from her own. Read with the understanding that these events are based in reality, but drenched with fiction. Enjoy!


Based on a true story – Memoir: Love, Not

I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This is my story.

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I mean, my own sister or anyone else I tell doesn’t, so it wouldn’t be anything new, but this is one hundred percent true. As true as I sit in this chair. As true as I scribble in this notebook, waiting to be seen at this free health clinic.

I wish every day that it wasn’t. I hate myself every day because it is.

My life could have been different, but I chose wrong. I know that now. I’m reminded every single day.

It’s gone on for so long that I’m not sure how I can even stop it. The only thing I can think to do, hope to accomplish with writing it all down, is that someday, maybe, it will help you to know which fork in the road you should take.

Maybe you won’t end up like me. Maybe you will choose the right path.

Maybe you’ll have a chance at a life completely opposite of mine.

I hope no one will ever live the life I have.

***

***MATURE CONTENT***
This story may contain triggers for strong emotional responses. Warnings will be posted on the various specific chapters such triggers will appear.

This is a very sensitive story. Please be respectful with your comments and feedback.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business, events, or locales is purely coincidental or used fictitiously. The author has taken great liberties with locales including the creation of fictional towns.

My Taxi Ride to Buckhead – Atlanta, GA

I had never been so infuriated in my life! I had just stepped off a plane and made my way through the Atlanta Airport to the taxi lane. I was directed to the curb to stand under number two when a driver pulled forward. I only had my carry-on and a jacket on my arm, unsure of what the weather would be in Atlanta after leaving a dark, cold, and drizzling D.C. My weather app showed sunny and sixty, but if it were windy, I thought I might need the extra cover. Not so. It was a beautiful day.

Anyway, the driver doesn’t get out, doesn’t even roll down his window, so I step to the back driver side door and pull the handle. The driver doesn’t move to unlock the doors, so I tap on the window of the passenger door, trying to get his attention. The doors are still locked as the driver looks back at me then hesitates before pushing the unlock button.

I pull the door open, push my bag onto the seat next to me as the driver asks where I was going with a very Cajun accent. I missed what he said the first time, so I say, “I’m sorry, what?”

He raises his voice and asks again, and I can just make out his words. I tell him I’m going to the Grand Hyatt and give him the address. He asks if that is in Downtown, and I say I’m not sure and give him the address again. He flicks his wrist at me and says OK before taking off down a highway.

If I had thought traffic in DC was bad, I knew nothing about the traffic in Atlanta! Wow, how congested the interstates become at all hours of the day.

The driver sped over thoroughfares with the windows down, blowing cool air over my face and my hair in every direction but straight. We head straight towards the skyscraper buildings including one covered at its peak in gold. D.C. has huge buildings, but seeing these out of the context of an area I have lived in all my life has me in awe.

The driver speeds through yellow lights, almost running down a pedestrian as he yells out the window some obscenities I don’t understand with his accent. He finally slows down and makes a sharp left turn, sending my luggage flying across the backseat and smacking against the opposite door. He stops abruptly at the Hyatt Regency and says in his heavy accent, “Payment, please.”

I lean forward and take a look at the hotel in front of us and shake my head. My gut is telling me to get out of the car and ask the hotel to arrange for my transportation to my real lodging, but I don’t want my work to have to pay for two modes of transportation for what should be one trip. I’m stubborn, I know.

“I’m staying at the Grand Hyatt, not the Hyatt Regency.”

He said, “The other Hyatt is in Buckhead. You said Downtown!”

His anger fuels mine, and I snap back. “I have no idea where I’m at, and I gave you the address.”

“You wasted my time!” He yells.

I’m travel weary, hungry, and tired. I just want to get to my hotel room and relax, so now I’m shaking with my anger, on the verge of tears and raise my voice back. “Do you want me to get out?”

He quickly reverts back to his soft spoken accent. “No, I’ll take you there.”

Before I have a chance to stay anything else, he slams on the gas and peels out of the hotel parking lot back, heading back to the interstate. I fall back into my seat and stare out the window, my anger still hot in my veins.

As the heat wanes, I seriously begin to contemplate my safety in a vehicle with a strange man who obviously was angry with me, so I pull up my Maps app and make sure we are heading in the right direction this time. Sounds silly now looking back, but I’ve watched too much Law and Order not to be concerned about an angry taxi driver.

I take pictures of windows which show which cab I’m in, what number to call for questions or comments about your trip, and the rates for every trip type for the metropolitan area. I have every intention of calling about his behavior, but I never do.

We finally pull up to the Grand Hyatt after fighting more traffic, and the driver holds out his hand. I roll my eyes and place my card in it. I grab my stuff and step out of the car, desperate to be done with the horrible transportation.

He rolls down his window, hands me my card, and asks me to finger sign his tablet. I follow his instructions, moving through prompts for a tip and contemplate not giving one, but guilt pangs me. I hand back the tablet, and just as he is putting the car back in gear, I ask for a receipt.

He huffs as he hands the tablet back to me and says, “Put your email in.” I do and send myself the receipt. As I hand back the tablet and turn to walk away, he yells out the window, “No tip?”

I turn back to his window disgusted now that I did put one on my tab. “There is a tip.”

“OK,” is all he says before he speeds away, coming close to running my toes over.

I shake my head and grab my rolling luggage as the past thirty minutes douse me with a mixture of anxiety, anger, and disgust. The look on my face must have shown it all as I stood in the middle of the guest transportation drive. The concierge steps up to me with a big smile and asks if he can take my bag. I fight back tears as my emotions begin to dissipate and try to smile back with a nod.

The concierge guides me to the check-in desk and asks how my travel was, and I can’t help my honesty.

“Horrible.”

He looks back at me with an apologetic smile, somehow putting me at ease almost immediately. “Well, hopefully your stay here will be a better experience. If you need anything, please let me know.”

I nod again as I step up to the counter. “Thank you. I may take you up on that for my trip back to the airport.”

One of the worst experiences I have ever had in a taxi was in Atlanta, but I refused to allow it taint my trip while I was there. I enjoyed CAPstone 2018 and every other part of my Atlanta journey. Those are the memories I keep, and now that I have vented this disaster taxi ride, I can forget it ever happened. However, I will stick to Uber or Lyft for transportation from now on.

Last Day: Alyeska – Free Ebook on Amazon

alyeskacoverFinal call to all looking for their next book boyfriend or armchair adventure! Download your free copy of Alyeska on Amazon today! Hurry quick, this deal is just about gone. Grab your ebook and snuggle up!

Alyeska is a second chance romance for Ben and Kayleigh. Born and raised in the deep South of Texas, Kayleigh knew nothing about real snow and a winter breeze that can cut through you, but her journey to the tundra of Alaska was about more than a ski trip on the fresh powder. After a painful past, this weekend adventure was supposed to put her back into the world of dating. She’s determined to do it! Only she never imaged having to face her dark memories so soon. It shouldn’t have happened this way. It shouldn’t feel like a repeat! Then a voice, the most miraculously commanding voice she has ever heard echoed through her mind and rescued her from another horrid memory. He saved her, but Kayleigh will soon find out, he needs saving, too.

Would you like to read the first two chapters of Alyeska? Click me!

Project Management (PM) Specialty – IAAP

IAAP CAPstone 2019 - Certification Study BootcampRecently, I had the pleasure of traveling to Atlanta, Georgia for a conference called CAPstone 2018 offered by the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP). Part of the offerings at this convention was a designation of Project Management for any who attended the two and half day seminars. My current employer was gracious to allow me to go, and I am grateful I had the opportunity to attend, not just as an escape from the cold front moving in on the northeast, but for another designation to put under my belt.

The course was a literal boot camp, more condensed than the actual boot camp the organization teaching the course provides on a normal basis. The usual five-day course given by PKMG for those going for the Project Manager Professional (PMP) certification was packed into the two and a half day program in a whirlwind of information and application. We studied everything from a work breakdown structure and schedule, risk analysis, communication plans and team charters, critical path, and stages of a team.

It was an intense experience, but one that I am glad I was able to participate in. As it was the first CAPstone program, there were no real expectations for comparison, but a sole goal to educate and push the attendees to achieving the designation. However, what I took away from the experience was more than just new initials behind my name.

I met so many wonderful, powerful women who knew what they wanted, knew what it meant to be an admin, and weren’t afraid to voice their opinion. These women actually took the time to learn my name and offered me advice as I took a phone conference on one of our breaks.

So, yes, I have new credentials, but I have also gained so much more. I gained colleagues I will assuredly reach out to for as long as they respond back. I gained a greater well of knowledge to tap into, more strength and confidence at the support group at my back. This experience wasn’t just about the designation. It became so much more.