Where have I been..

I honestly can’t say, exactly. Life has taken me where it pleases and where I am displeased. There are the things I love doing, and things I have to do. I am finding more moments of enjoyment during the long days of animus, but they are too far and few between.

One day, I’ll find the time to enjoy what I love more. One day, I’ll be able to do what I want rather than fill an obligation. If it wasn’t for the only cause that matters in my life, I’d start now. But today, and the next, and the foreseeable days to come, I’ll think of the one day that I will be able to do what I love.

Birthright Cover Reveal – Touched by Light series

You learned Riley’s secrets. You worried and strategized with Rey. You were introduced to the world of Guardians filled with Light and the darkness of Midnight’s shadows. You read Guardians, book one in the trilogy of Riley and Rey’s story, but this series is just starting.

I now introduce you to Birthright. Pre-order your copy today!

Riley has always known darkness and shadows were part of her world, but she hoped moving to a new town had taken her away from them. Her first semester at Bradford University is winding down. The race to save her soul is ratcheting up. Riley clings to the one person she hopes can keep her safe, but it is time she faced the truth. Her entire life has been leading up to her nineteenth birthday, a day her supposed Aunt had secretly prepared her for since childhood. With her past revealed and her fate seemingly sealed, Riley must make a decision that could very well end her life.

Reymend has lived two hundred years without breaking a single rule of the Guardianship, but the moment he met Riley, everything changed. He interjected himself into her life. He touched her delicate skin more times than he can admit, giving her glimpses into a world she knows nothing about. But, the one rule Rey swore he wouldn’t break may be the only way to save his Charge. When the greatest evil ever known comes to collect Riley’s soul, Rey has to face a decision no Guardian has ever had to make.

We all have our demons

Take this for what you will: prose, journaling, rambling, storyboarding.


One of my demons is taunting me right now, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to stand against it. We all have a past, a history with pieces we hope stay dormant and hibernate, never to see the light of another day in our lives again.

But here is mine. It’s rearing it’s horrid head again, and I want so badly to stop it. I want so desperately to keep it as far from the life I’ve built as possible, but it’s found me.

Now the question is, do I run, or do I stand my ground? I don’t even know if I’ll have to fight it if I stay. It could just walk right by and not even flinch as it glances over me.

But what do I do if I keep on this path and it does challenge me? What do I do if it does try and impact my life?

I’m not a coward. I don’t want to run, but I can’t be selfish. This is about a lot more than me now.

Why can’t the past stay in the past where it belongs? Some may believe nothing will come of this, but I can feel it. It’s coming for me. Now I just need to decide what I’m going to do when my demon shows its face.

Spending Time

There is one thing in life you can never have enough of. Not love. Not money.

TIME.

Time is the one thing in this world that you can never gain back. You can’t buy it. You can’t smooth talk your way back into it. It’s eternally moving forward, forever ticking away. It’s the one thing in life that is constant and true. No matter what you do, time moves on.

How do you spend your precious time? How do you spend those disappearing moments that only live in your memories once they pass?

It’s the number one reason I believe that if you have something in your heart that you want to do, do it. Don’t hold back. Don’t slow down. Go forward and do it because the world won’t wait. The next revolution around the sun is happening faster than we realize. Hours dwindle to minutes, dwindle to seconds, diminish to memories.

What will your memories be filled with?

This is why I wrote. I feel it in me to put words on paper. I love doing it. I love creating stories and characters. It’s my calling. These moments that I do not spend with my family are for me, and writing is my passion. If I’m writing, it is time well spent.

What do you spend your time on?

Defeat

What is defeat?

chess-defeat

Does it stare you in the face?

Does it sneak up on you when you least expect it?

Does it last but a moment?

Does it linger?

I have known defeat.

I have known it as briefly as a passerby

and as long as a best friend.

How do you get rid of this feeling?

With success.

Finding your win.

Reveling in your triumphs.

Defeat isn’t permanent.

Carry on.

Pieces of me

Hello, my dear friends. It has been a while.

I’ve been away, but I have not gone

Far enough to forget you,

So let me apologize and

Verbalize my intent to reconnect you

With my dreams and hopes and ramblings,

Which I so often do.

My name is Lindsay Chamberlin, and I love to write. I’ve self-published a few novels, and intend to do more of the same. I am a mother, a wife, and co-provider for my family, so for now, writing is what I do to keep my soul alive. One day it may be more, but I promise you it will never be less. My entire life is made up of things I do for others and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but this, writing, is what I do for me.

An example, here,

In the midst of it all

That life without this tiny piece of me,

Which makes up the largest part of my soul,

Is crazy and draining,

No matter how much I love it.

I need this piece of me

Like I need you to love it

Because this is all of me,

And I hope you enjoy it.

Insomniac Rambling – Love and Greed

To be enough for someone in a world full of greed is everything.

No! Just, no!

I saw this on Instagram as a poem someone wrote (not sure who posted it, can’t find it again), and I just need to say no. No, this is wrong. So wrong you can’t make enough U-turns to make it right. Just wrong!

I can see someone attempting to make the argument that maybe they are talking about love. Love is selfless. Love is about giving your all and then some to allow the person you have the feelings for to flourish with you. Love is the opposite of greed, therefore, to have found someone who wants to give you all of themselves is a gift not to be squandered. I get it. I dig it. You’re on the right track, but the first sentence in this post does not capture the idea of unselfish love.

The first sentence goes wrong the moment it assumes you weren’t enough for someone, anyone, in this world. You are always enough! It’s just up to the other person to see it, to know your value as much as you know your own worth.

Next, I read this sentence to say that your measurement in a person’s life is in your control. Again, this is wrong. It ties into the first part, but let me dig a little deeper. Greed is a terrible affliction. Nothing is ever enough. So, to say that you should be able to measure up to that amount of endless wanting, to be able to compete with the constant yearning, and possibly be greater than the desire for more in someone else is completely out of your control. Not only do you have to selflessly give yourself over to the one you love, but they in kind must also forget all pretenses and expectations in a world of over consumption and gluttony and share their selfless love, too.

Finally, to say that finding someone who may hold you higher than all other wants and needs is everything is horribly cheap. I would never want someone who wants me more than some goal or objective they may be trying to obtain. One day, those things they once ignored may suddenly float higher than your pedastool, and then your everything is now your barely something. Only when love holds it’s own category, it’s on permanent residence in two people’s lives will that love be everything.

Go to bed, Lindsay. I know. 🙂

Guardians – Release Day Party Continued!

Click on the links below for your chance to win an ebook!

Goodreads eBook Giveaway

GUARDIANS

By Lindsay Chamberlin

Released October 31 2018
This giveaway starts November 1, 2018 and ends November 13, 2018.

 

Keep up with me on tour for Guardians release party! Today, you can find exclusives and interviews on:

Jazzy Book Reviews
Fang-tastic Books (Guest Blog)

Memoir: Love, Not – WattPad Exclusive

Live, today, is my newest completed project called Memoir: Love, Not. This 22 part, ~60,000 word novel will only ever be posted on my WattPad account, so join now and enjoy!

This book is a tale based on a true story of a high school girl experiencing what she believes to be love for the first time. The boy she falls for may be full of romance and a burning desire for her, but his only mission in her life is to consume her whole. She traverses abuse in every form while trying her hardest to discover her inner strength and who she is really meant to be.

This story isn’t for the faint of heart, nor those looking for fluff. I’ve written fluffy novels, and I promise you, this isn’t one. These events created a person strong and independent and unafraid to take on a challenge, but the past always remains in our minds as a reminder to the path we took to get us here. This unveiling of a trying time in this young woman’s life is meant to inspire choices very different from her own. Read with the understanding that these events are based in reality, but drenched with fiction. Enjoy!


Based on a true story – Memoir: Love, Not

I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This is my story.

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I mean, my own sister or anyone else I tell doesn’t, so it wouldn’t be anything new, but this is one hundred percent true. As true as I sit in this chair. As true as I scribble in this notebook, waiting to be seen at this free health clinic.

I wish every day that it wasn’t. I hate myself every day because it is.

My life could have been different, but I chose wrong. I know that now. I’m reminded every single day.

It’s gone on for so long that I’m not sure how I can even stop it. The only thing I can think to do, hope to accomplish with writing it all down, is that someday, maybe, it will help you to know which fork in the road you should take.

Maybe you won’t end up like me. Maybe you will choose the right path.

Maybe you’ll have a chance at a life completely opposite of mine.

I hope no one will ever live the life I have.

***

***MATURE CONTENT***
This story may contain triggers for strong emotional responses. Warnings will be posted on the various specific chapters such triggers will appear.

This is a very sensitive story. Please be respectful with your comments and feedback.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, business, events, or locales is purely coincidental or used fictitiously. The author has taken great liberties with locales including the creation of fictional towns.