Am I cheap, or am I scared?
I honestly don’t know the answer to that question. I am a writer by nature; a career driven business woman by nurture. The world molded me to pursue a career and climb the corporate ladder while my soul compels me to listen to my muse, to write the characters and their stories for the world to read. I do what I must to make a living, but I do what I want in my free time to keep my soul alive.
I was looking into various writing competitions through a search on Google, and found list after list of open and ongoing competitions. I read a few quick overviews, clicked on a few for a deeper description of the desired submission, but came to one conclusion. Submitting anything into one of these competitions costs money! I found a few free ones, but I do not meet the requirements for most. The ones I do believe I could submit to all cost $XX (double digits) that I’d rather spend on editing or my next book cover.
Then I go to war with myself. Is it really an either/or, or am I just afraid of the feedback? Most of these competitions are just winners or losers, so there really isn’t any promise of feedback, but I know that apprehension is there. I can feel it when I think of submitting my work to be judged. It’s the silliest thing in the world because I self-publish my own novels, for goodness sake! How is this different?
The word “competition” is the only thing I can think of. I’m an extremely competitive person, so the idea of losing is not something that sits well with me. I know I should take a loss and move on. Lord knows I’ve done it numerous times with potential agents and publishers. I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it.
One day. I may even go as far and say, one day this year! Meh, maybe we’ll just stick with one day.