I’m starting to feel as if my mind won’t shut off. I have all these thoughts and feelings just swirling within my brain like a dark, daunting twister that I can’t shut off. It is literally starting to make me feel like Atlas, just not with the world on my shoulders but trying to hold up my own head. I’m sure you and I both know why, with the passing of my close friend recently and she has been heavy on my heart the past few weeks, but it is really curious to me why my mind goes in these random directions rather than focused on what you would think would be the norm.
Ha! The norm. I hear that all the time as a new mom. (How long can I consider myself a new mom before it isn’t true anymore?) If I say, oh, I’m tired, there is always someone there to say, oh, you’ll be that way until your kid is 18. It’s normal. Or if I say, man, I wish I had time to do whatever then someone always pipes up, oh, you will one day when your baby is grown. It’s just how it will be from here until they go to college. But that’s normal.
Let me blow your mind for a second here. How about normal is synonymous with the same as everybody else, and we all know that no baby is the same as the next. In my mind, no two humans are alike, either, therefore, there is no normal. We each are trying to get through this life with the most amazing experiences we can find, and the definition of amazing is different for all of us. Wow! Take that pill with a dry mouth.
Again, I stress the fact that my mind is uncontrollably firing in all directions. I can’t quite pinpoint where my focus is, so I feel like I am literally all over the place! This post is definitely going to be more of just getting this off my chest since for one, I missed posting this past week, and two, I can’t target exactly what I am feeling. I seriously feel like a jar of fireflies flying aimlessly and lighting randomly through the night.
The above is a link to an article I really needed to read right about now.
And I just remembered that I need to do my homework. Ugh. Maybe that will help me focus my mind on something specific. A thought on a single track would be nice right about now, but I’m not sure if the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun or an oncoming train. Choo-choo!