I’m thinking about time tonight, and I’m not sure why. There is an old saying about there never being enough time or money in life, so maybe that is where this thought is stemming. I understand the notion that you can never have enough money because our wants are infinite, but the time portion of this phrase is where my focus has been drawn.
Time is eternal. There will never be a moment in your life where the seconds aren’t ticking away, where the days aren’t seeming shorter, or the years aren’t flying by. It is the one thing in this universe that is constant. Sure, time is relative based on any number of factors, but I can’t imagine that there is a place in this physical universe we currently reside in where time stands still. The very idea of time standing still brings to my mind a frozen moment in the continuous line of time that never moves forward or back. I imagine if time didn’t exist somewhere that there would essentially be nothing like a Polaroid picture that never developed, an empty frame of a black snapshot. There would be nothing, a lapse in existence.
As I am thinking this through and giving substance to my thoughts in the form of words, I am starting to finally realize why this is on my mind.
My daughter is sound asleep in her crib while my husband is playing his video games in the basement. My immediate family members are in their homes, carrying out their nightly routines while billions of other people on this planet, and maybe some sort of beings on other planets (not sure I believe this, but the universe is massive, right?) are doing their timely tasks. We all are carrying out the moments of our lives, the moments that may seem frivolously spent in blissful ignorance, until one day we wake up.
We wake up and realize we shouldn’t have spent all that time watching TV, or playing on computers, or cell phones, or tablets. We wake up and notice that things aren’t as accessible, or readily available, or still waiting for us like we had always thought. We wake up and see that our lives happened around us, that those we love grew up, or grew apart, or grew past this world.
These are the times we suddenly realize that there isn’t enough time in life. There isn’t enough time in life to spend with the ones we love before we lose them. There isn’t enough time to do all the things we love to the fullest of our capabilities before we can’t. There isn’t enough time to realize what it means to really live before it’s over.
I’m starting to feel really morbid with this post, and that is not my intent, so let me give you my real thought. As the Chamberlin household starts to settle into bed, I’ve come to realize that I refuse to let this moment pass me by. I won’t let there be another moment in my life that I don’t appreciate what matters to me and make the time to show it or prove it. I refuse to let myself become old and gray before I really take the time to enjoy my family or the things I do in life.
I want that time to be now. I want my elder years to be filled with thankfulness and beautiful memories rather than making up for the time I missed in the past. I want my daughter to remember her mother as one of the biggest, most involved parts of her life. I want my husband to remember our love as strong and withstanding the test of time.
I want to appreciate my life more than I ever have before because I never want to be a person who says, “I wish I had more time”.