Theme of the Week: Forgiveness and Forgetting

Welcome back, my fellow seekers!

Recently in my life, I have had to find it within myself to forgive an incident that I am not sure I can forget. Circumstances have it that I found out some information that hurt me deeply, but because I know my feelings towards this situation would not have me run from it, forgiveness is my only other option. As women, we all know the phrase “forgive and forget”, but we also know that the first part comes easy once you are ready to offer the sign of peace; it’s the latter half that takes time. 

Forgetting seems to have become such an act of random selection in the human brain. You read some information, and our minds only retain about 10% of it. You experience a moment in your life, and depending on the gravity of the event, some can either explain every sensory feeling they had within it, or they will say “That was a good time,” without anymore detail. Or, you go through something truly horrific, maybe not just physically trying, but mentally shaking you to your core. This moment leads you to believe that it had all been a lie, and you can remember every nerve ending that shot signals through your system causing your body to literally revolt to the situation, but because you forgave, you are expected to forget. 

I love the romance genre; both of my publications have been within this category, but sometimes, when a character goes through a moment that seems to put them through hell and then they forgive and forget, I can honestly say I envy these characters for it.

I know most people don’t consider “Twilight” to be anything more than a teenage drama, barely even literature, but I enjoyed it when I was a teenager, so excuse the reference, and this may contain ***SPOILERS***.

When Edward leaves Bella in the second book, “New Moon”, her whole world seems to crash in on her. She falls so deeply into depression; I could feel her heart completely shatter and leave the hollow hole in its stead. By the end of the book, it’s Bella that has to save Edward, and while I understand she loves him, after all she went through when he left and her fear arising that he would do the same again even after she saves him, I just can’t understand how she could forget so easily. To reiterate, I understand she loves him, her one true love, but how can she forget so easily?

How about “Beautiful Disaster”? Abby is basically trapped in Travis’s apartment because of a deal she made, but because of some little tiff between her and Travis before they even started dating, he went out, got drunk, brought home two women, and slept with them in the same house she was staying in. I get that they weren’t together, yet, but to have heard every noise then be able to forget and start dating the guy. No, way!

Taking this away from the romance genre a second, because not all problems are within romantic relationships, a very good read, what I can most contribute the beginning of my reading and writing journey to, “Gone for Good” by Harlan Coben is more of a mystery/crime drama.

Will believes his brother is dead, but upon finding proof that he is alive, Will finds more than just the one truth. Will knows his brother is the prime suspect in the murder of his girlfriend, but when his brother, Ken, reveals that he and the girl had been hooking up, Will was willing to let Ken run again as the cops were closing in. Now, I love my sister, but if she had such deep secrets and revealed them to me just as she was about to be arrested or run, I don’t think I could have let her get away with it.

Maybe these characters have more courage than I do, but to know the situation, to have forgiven the incident and am willing to move on, I am just having trouble with the forgetting part. Maybe time is the key; maybe patience, which I know I am lacking in my life. Whatever it is, I know I have forgiven with my whole heart, but how do you forget as easily? 

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